QueenAnntics

I am sitting by the lake on a bench that my parents gave me, now rusted and covered with lichen. Everyone around the lake path knows this bench and it is a landmark. The sky is clear and the moon is barely a sliver so the planets and stars are shining above me with great brilliance. The air is warm and there is a slight breeze ruffling the leaves in the trees and on the ground. I used to call Natalie from this bench when she lived in Arizona and tonight I called Crim and made her listen to the owl that was in the distance.  She said she heard it. I wish someone was down here with me, not to talk, but just to feel the peace. I even started thinking that if I knew I was going to die tonight, I would plant myself on this bench and make room for my family then wait for my dad and grandma to come and get me. I have no plans for that to happen but that’s just how perfect it is. I am having one of those cleansing cries that must be the release of tension and probably some old lady hormone changes too.  Maybe since Andrew visited the University of Michigan, I started to think I am almost done as a mom and I hope, for the most part, I was helpful. How lucky I have been to live in a place where I don’t have to lock my doors all of the time and I can be here right now, safe and all by myself. Mark can make me furious but he has been good and he has given us a great house, travel, debt-free college education, and at times, even some  laughs because he is sooo dad. He has mellowed with age and I know he will be a wonderful grandfather someday. Anyway, I just did realize that they haven’t caught the black bear that has been wandering around in the neighborhood and maybe he will come down for a drink in the lake. That would make for an interesting end to this perfect night.